Red Light Ambition

Farewell to Arms

2006-03-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

In the past seven bloggs on here only five have been commented on. That's fine because i'm not here for the comments or your in put. On myspace there's a thingy that tells you how many people have looked at your blog page that day, week, and thus far! And there you can give the writer kudos! i always give kudos to people. But yeah, farewell to all you bloggers, no hard feelings? Nothing against you people but it's just not worth my time to blog at both places and when it gets to putting up pictures, well, damn! If you want to read my life then check out http://blog.myspace.com/vadasz Later days kids! Thanks for the love.

Hopeless Love

2006-03-04T19:26:00.001-07:00

Since i was a kid i've been interested in little things that don't matter to any one, little things in nature, people, or in society. My mom told me a story of what i was like when i was a child. She said it would take twice as long, if not longer, to walk to the store if she brought me because i would stop to look, observe, and love the small things along the way. Things like leaves and how they fall, the grass and how it stands, or shapes the bark of a tree makes. My memories of my childhood are few but one of the best is when I looked at a tree for a few minutes. All i could do was look and imagine things about the tree. It was one of those tall skinny white trees with some black stripes. You know, it has thin branches and on the end of those are longer branches. These branches are like small ropes, like twine. Well anyway. That was me, is me.

What am i getting at? i don't know, pift, my attention to detail i guess. Now here is my main thought.

All i can remember that means something to me of my past relationships are these details that i noticed about them. And since i was a teenager i was a hopeless romantic. i had my wedding planed out, even to the point that i know what i want the dress to look like! For a guy that is different. i knew where it was going to be, i knew who i was going to invite, and who was doing what. i knew the food, music, and prices at one point? i remember watching an old couple coming into Arby's and the husband took care of the order. She stood in the back and waited patiently while he took care of the business. i'm sure that it's one of the few things that he could've taken care of for her now. He was glad to do it because she is his life! You could feel that love they had, even if you didn't know them and i love stuff like this. i love romance movies, songs, and stories. My lord the stories!! My first week at CPC i sat down with Wally and his wife so i could hear how they fell in love! i eat that stuff up, i lived for it! But some how that all changed recently.

It's like it all left with this one girl. All my hopes in "true love" or happiness with one soul for the rest of one's life went away. i'm not mad at her or my self. What i did find out is that when i was, i don't know, i want to say naive; i thought there was many opportunities at a great relationship/forever relationship. Ones where there is unconditional love and you are head over heels for each other. Hell, i want that just as much as the next guy but it's highly improbable that it's going to happen. Now i realize that there are few real connections with people (in general) and even less of a chance of being with someone who really gets you.

My thoughts used to be more logical in relationships. Compatibility was the most important thing. i'd line up what my interests/passions are with hers to see if it would work. A couple of times i would hang in there just because they are a catch and i was hoping my heart would follow. Catch: they were smart, beautiful, good sense of humor, my family liked them, and we complimented each other. Complimented each other in the sense that they would be good with money and i'm not or they would be good at planning and i'm better at executing that plan. Those are the kinds of things i was looking for and held on to. Now i realize that it's all about the connection. It has more to do with understanding the person, not tolerating them but truly accepting them.

If i liked them or not or i was dating them or not i usually knew it wasn't going to work deep down. There were a couple girls that were real catches and i cared about too much to the point that i'd lie to myself just so i wouldn't have to hurt them or my self. i'd convince myself till i was blue in the face that i was wrong and continue with full steam in my heart. Of course there's nothing but disaster with these scenarios. Now i'm skeptical of friends' relationships and i have little to no hope for them not because they're thinking like I was but because it rarely does work out. And even when it does it seems more likely that it'll be for the wrong reasons; obligation being one of the big ones! i feel like i missed my "one chance" at true love because I was fixed on whether or not we fit together. i've been in many relationships and i was only once myself, i was confident in who i was and i loved them. And i should have realized that but i was too focused on the mathematics of the relationship. i should've loved them regardless of our compatibility.

So there are two changes here. 1- i won't settle for a female just because she has all or even some of the right things that i look for. That's the main reason why i dated so much. It's gotta be the real deal now. 2- i lost it, whoops!
To Pexa: Be easy on me, i'm sure you want to tear this apart!

Later days,

Currently listening: On the Strength of All Convinced By Daphne Loves Derby Release date: By 26 July, 2005

Another Night. Another.

2006-03-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

Another night, another show!!!!! Last night i saw Moneen at Louis' Pub and of course they were nuts. They have such a great stage show! Last time i saw them was last year with two great friends of mine Joel and Erin. Neither were here this time but i was with my brother's ex girlfriend! She was my Valentine's date as well. She's the best chick to go to a show with. There's just too much fun to be had. Half way through "The Passing of America" Moneen plays a game of poker? It was hularious!

Next up- MXPX next week!

Here's a little something from the boys of Moneen for all the heart aches and broken dreams!

"Start Angry, end mad"
Scew you and i, i hope you burn.
You think you're worth more then you've earned.
You're nothing, you're worthless excpt for these verses.
Out with the new, in with the old.
Die
Die
Die
Die
Die....

Yeah, you get the point! Later days

Currently listening: Are We Really Happy With Who We Are Right Now? By Moneen Release date: By 17 June, 2003

Yes, i see that hand!

2006-03-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Your results:You are The Flash

The Flash 85%
Superman 65%
Spider-Man 65%
Robin 65%
Green Lantern 65%
Supergirl 60%
Wonder Woman 60%
Iron Man 60%
Hulk 40%
Batman 35%
Catwoman 35%

(There's a graphic of Flash on my myspace but not here?) Fast, athletic and flirtatious. There's more woman in me then i thought!???? http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/superhero

Dreams and Pens

2006-02-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

Just a few minutes ago i had a dream. In it i was playing volleyball (i don't really like that) and with me was some friends who i don't know. The main part of the dream was that Muana was in it! And she was my girlfriend!!! Muana is the runner up girl from the “Bachelor” and that show ended last night (whimper, whimper). Travis picked some other girl named Sarah who apparently is the girl of his dreams? Well, Muana is the girl of mine, literally and she just seemed so frick'n awesome. We were talking and laughing and we held hands! Wow i need to get out more, the high light of my days are my dreams!

In other news, i was away this weekend with my boys from Farsighted. They played at Youth Quake, opening up for John Ruben!!!!! They made a killing at the merch table from all the young girlies and boys! The college there paid for the two rooms at the hotel for us, which was nice because it came with two baskets of junk food and free breakfast!!! There were blue angles, wedgies, flips, farts, pelting, and a lot of Discovery Channel!!! i was blowing the blue angles but it didn't work that well. Brett Murphy gave me a wedgie but i got him back and also a frontal wedgie to boot! i was flipping from bed to bed. The other boys were pelting each other with candies and Mark got a huge one in the side!!!! He dropped super fast. What else .... Oh, i got to drive there and back!! It felt like tour all over again, man i miss last summer.

It was a great weekend filled with new and old faces too. i ran into my old buddy from Jr. high school Tyler Rohde! We used to play lots of video games and chase girls together! i also ran into a couple of girls who i met on tour this summer. At first i couldn't put my finger on where i knew them from so they had to tell me.

On the way home Joel and i found cannibalistic donuts? i know, weird but true! At the beginning Joel said to me it's the “find a wife weekend!” One of the summer's tour names was "find justin a wife tour." So there was no luck what so ever just so you know. And that's all for now.

Later days

You Might Know

2006-02-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

i love the show Radio Free Rosco on Family Channel. As it turns out two of the guys are gonna be here in S'toon in a couple of weeks!!!!!! There is no way I can miss that. Sure I'm a few years older then them but I'm not on T.V. and I'm not as cool, I may even be considered a nerd and that IS OKAY!!! So be there or be not square! March fourth, 11:00 a.m. till 1:00 p.m. at Lawson heights mall. "L-Seven Weenie!!!"

later days!
Currently Playing: XB360 Call of Duty 2Release date: By 22 November, 2005

Tour Stories Part Joel

2006-02-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

Stuff in brackets are me explaining the story! Thanks for reading

Hey dude. Well, here are some off the top of my head for now:

1) turning the abandoned mall's parking lot into an RV park in Quebec City. (yeah, i got nothing)

2) definitely the geyser at the park in Moose Jaw ( i stayed behind but the guys ran over a sprinkler and there was a fourty foot water geyser! Todd sat on it and was given an enima

3) the show in 100 Mile House filled with sex and violence (it was just like TV. There was a couple haveing sex in the bathroom. And a drunk guy was chasing around a dude who had a mic stand swinging. That place was crazy)

4) the worst show ever in Victoria when we played across the street from a stadium full of Avril Lavigne fans (yeah, it sucked)

5) the stagette party on a school bus in Winnipeg (Hola! So i mooned the bus full of girls but then the wife to be mooned us back! That was pretty funny but wrong)

6) all-you-can-eat breakfast with The Reception in Revelstoke

7) watching Dumb And Dumber in an old Ford Ranger (that happened to be unlocked and had a charged battery) in Whistler (Yeah, that was awesome. We checked a lot of wrecked vehicles for power because our truck was dead all just to watch Dumb and Dumber!)

8) seeing national mountain biking events at both ends of the country completely by coincidence

9) milk in a bag (only in Quebec!)

10) almost going into the gay bar in Ottawa (Once i saw the poster of a naked guy we were out of there. Icky)

Well, there's a list to get you started. I'll try to think of more. Later!

Joel

Last night?

2006-02-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

Last night was a real good night. i was at a punk show. Those nights can never go wrong. My boys, Farsighted, played and it's always super nice to see them! i was super pumped to be there last night going into the weekend because i had invited a bunch of people to come out. NOBODY that i invited came? What was that about? Oh well, i had a great time. There was one guy, Andrew, he came but he was gonna be there in the first place. There were six bands on the bill so it went kinda late and i worked today but i didn't care. The boys were supposed to go home last night but as it turns out they were able to stay the night. One of the other bands, Winter's Longing, needed a place to stay as well so they crashed too. There were nine other guys at my place last night, hola geeze! They were over flowing into the kitchen and hallways! Body's everywhere! Also, sometime during the show the Winter's Longing van was jacked! A laptop was stolen and it had their new album design on it! So i spent a few hours in prayer in hopes that something bad will happen to the fool who messed with my new friends. That was my night all in all. Now I miss being on tour! That was the life. So kudos goes out to the boys in Winter's Longing and My roommate for taking the bands over with stride.

On my last post i said that there was something big that happened in my life that i was going to post ..... about that, i don't think i will anymore. However, Cornerstone is coming up! Hurray for Zoidberg.

Currently listening:
The Light of Things Hoped For
By Brave Saint Saturn
Release date: By 25 March, 2003

My date with Pexa the great!

2006-02-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

Last night i had my V-day date with Andrea, she won the "win a date" contest with me. She made the date worth my life! She was wonderful, hands down one of the best dates. We went to Moxi's for supper. i had a pizza and she had some chicken with wild mushrooms (wink!) and some frick'n awesome potatoes. For her gift i bought "50 worse boyfriends then yours" book. It's super funny and it's totally up her alley. She got me a gift and i didn't think i would get one but i did! She gave me Mono .... easy people, it's a little stuffed thing! She says she bought some sicknesses that a company has enlarged and turned them into stuffed "animals." So under a microscope mono is a light purple ball with a few little bumps! Super funny and very suiting!!! So from now on keep in mind that i have mono! Andrea kept the conversation so brilliant and fun. She's one of the best girls around. After that we went to a show, the Trews with the Awesome Team from T.O. and Rocketface from Nova Scotia. What a woman, on a date she wants to go to a rock show! WOW, and i'm like a little brother to her!! Just my luck hey, well she dated my bro Jesse and i wouldn't break that un-written rule of dating sibling's ex's. The show last night it's self was good aside from the drunken ladies. It was pretty packed in there and for the first while we were upfront at the Roxi and there was a few dancing girls there. They were okay. It wasn't until later when this one really drunk chick came in and went right in front of us. Her friend had huge early 90's hair and i ate some of that because it was all in my face! So the super drunk chick kept bumping us and so A-dawg nudged her forward and the lady turned around with a disgusted look! She pushed my date and then me!! So that's when i had enough and laid her out on the floor .... never hit a girl because it will only get you sued or at least a night in the drunk tank at your local prison. i got the lesser punishment so i woke up this morning with a couple of knob jobs in a cold room. Penney came and picked me up this morning and my boss understands that i didn't fell up to the task of going to work today! Okay, so i didn't punch the drunken chick but i wanted to and i probably would've been in jail last night if i did and probably pressed with fines. However this night did end on a sour note.

You see, i'm supposed to be staying over at the Moffat's on the west side because i'm building a house over on that side and it's just easier to stay there for work. It's only for two weeks or so but it was supposed to start last night. i worked things out with Even last night to leave the back door unlocked because they haven't cut me a key and i knew my date wasn't ending till the wee hours of the morning. After i tried the back door.... a couple of times (it was locked), i knocked on Even's window .... more times then the door, and each time progressively louder. At this point i wanted to hit him. This time more then ever before, with reason though. i walked down a few blocks till i got to a Seven Eleven to call a cab and with my last fifteen dollars i got a cab home. The last of my money only got me half way home but the cabbie had enough grace to drive me the rest of the way! Nice work cabbie, i won't forget you. My anger for Moffat was swift and i know things will be the same with us, they always are. Even if he calls me a NERD i'll FORGIVE him because i'm not going to be "reading between the lines." If a guy says something ladies, we'll mean just that. If you're a nerd and I like you I probably like the fact that you are a nerd and I don't look down on you. Guys are super simple, there's nothing to read into.

Anyway i have grace for him or anyone who would do such a thing and I would keep on befriending them. Moffat has caused me some grief a few times before but that's fine because i'm not in the friendship for my well-being. i'm there for him even if my toes get stepped on or regardless of what happens to me, what else is a friend for? i have a lot of bitterness in this area due to an episode some time ago.
That's him (Even), Gen, and i

So that was my date last night and all is well. i had great food, great company, a great show, and a new realization of what true friendship is. Stay tuned because there's been a huge change in my life! We're talking worlds apart in my life!

Later days
Currently listening: Summers Kiss By Dashboard Confessional Release date: By 02 April, 2002

Slidshowzillz

2006-02-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

i re-did my slide show! Today was one of the best days ever! i vegged on two movies this morning while eating a box of "Reese’s Puffs" alone and then Penney and i went out for a bit of riding. We went to the jumps just down the street and shoveled them off for some fun. Once the snow was taken care off the real fun started. We spent almost two hours hitting up one jump and it's not even that big of a hit? It's just been to long for both of us to be out that we didn't care. There are a couple of pics in the slid show of today. The rest of he pics are from College Connection and that went down last weekend. Good times for sure there. i snuck out for the first time at the college and i was super pumped. i couldn't help but to tell a few people about it and then Joel reminded me of certain time last year when i went there. As it turns out i snuck out last year, first semester and completely forgot about it! Being a Christian has some benefits; one being eternal life (the better, non-burning one) and two being cheap thrills like sneaking out of a college at age twenty-one! God gives us free will but when you go there they apparently take that away? So that's the past week or so in a nut shell ....

Later days kids
p.s. the pics are at http://www.myspace.com/vadasz

And the winner is ....

2006-02-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

Pexa, Andrea. So she's the one who won the date on V-day!

2006-02-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

i was in b.c. last week! i had just recently picked up a new bike mag based from Whistler. The writers are great and i got lost a few times in it. All i could feel around me was warm b.c. air, my bike under me, and the presence of my bro's. i was back in b.c. last week and it felt great. i got the mag to work to read on my coffee's and lunch so that was nice to escape from reality for a little while. Oh, and today i heard that Philosopher kings are back together!!!! NICE!

Currently listening: The Philosopher Kings By The Philosopher Kings Release date: By 06 February, 1996

Pics Pics Pics!!!!!

2006-02-01T21:55:00.000-07:00

There's a slid show on my myspace, http://www.myspace.com/vadasz It's all the good pics since i got it this christmas. Maybe next christmas will be better.

Faithful in one thing ....

2006-01-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

i have watched every episode thus far of "the Bachelor, Paris." It's so good to me right now. It gets me all excited because Travis makes different choices then i do. Some of the women defiantly would've still been in and there's a couple that would've been long gone by now. You guys need to get under this teaching, seriously! Oh, and i saw "Pride & Prejudice" a couple of weeks ago by my self and it was the best choice of my life, besides choosing Jesus over my self. Going to a show by my self is way better then going with anybody except Joel because he knows the severity of the punishment of talking during a movie.

Currently watching: Pride & Prejudice (Widescreen Edition) Release date: By 28 February, 2006

The Februarys

2006-01-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

I have had coldplay on my myspace for a while now and i JUST changed it (imagine the "just" part said like joe k would say it!). The song scientist ment a lot to me in different parts of my life and that's why it was up for so long. The Februarys are a band i had the pleasure of hearing this summer while on tour. They are from bc and their music is so solid. Here's the lyrics for the song (for all you blogger.comers you'll have to check out myspace.com/vadasz just copy and paste it people, copy and paste! ) This post isn't meant for any specific person, it's meant for all of you, and maybe it will mean as much to you.

All The Time In The World

I remember calling out

I remember pain

I remember how the town looked shattered by the rain

Don't you leave just yet

Stay with me tonight

I remember silences

I remember screams

I remember recognizing your face from my dreams

Don't you leave just yet

Stay with me tonight

Come on let me feel it

Come on lets work it out

Come on we aint got a thing to prove

We've got to prove them all wrong

Come on it's twilight

Come on it's dawn

Come on we got all the time in the world

We got no time to spare

All the time in the world.

Feb 14th

2006-01-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

Last night i was at a punk show. The Farsighted boys were in town and put on a show at the Odeon super late. It started at ten and there was six bands to play. The boys were supposed headline the show but bagged to play earlier because the show went super late, like two or so late. i feed the boys supper and they watched Jeopardy before hand? In the background i hear Joel yell "Judas!" Ummm, that's all i got.

The venue however was frick'n nuts! It was super big and had a huge pit in the front. There were two jiant pillars on either side of the stage broken half way up. Out of one of them there's a fog machine! The place was .... off .... the .... chain? Yeah, sure it was. Oh and i can't forget all the real emo/punk chicks!!!! You can tell the ones who actually are lagit and man, boy was i glad to be single last night, let me tell you! Well i can't because i try to keep these posts PG. That was the best part of tour, the emo ladies. i've always hated piercings but plugs are super hot for some reason? Nerds are great too... but don't take that the wrong way people.

On a differant thought, i would like to go on a date Feb 14 this year, St. Valentine's Day. i am single but this date is just for fun, no strings, honest. i pay for the whole night. i'm open to any girl and if you play your cards right boys i just might take one of you. Some of you know that i'm a hard core romantic so this night will be one not to forget. To get on this date you have to answer this riddle. The first to answer correctly gets the date! You can take anything off the menu, get any dessert, any drink, i'm game for it all and there's more beyond the dinner! So come one come all, non-emo women included of course. Out of S'toon and metropolis people might be a little more difficult to work with so i'll let you know what i can do for you!
"A scientist is experimenting with bacteria that are one micron in diameter and that reproduce by dividing every minute into two bacteria. At 12:00 PM, he puts a single organism in a container. At precisely 1:00 PM, the container is full.
At what time was the container half full?"
The winner will be posted Feb 7 so they can make arrangements for the night. Happy hunting!
Later days kids
Currently listening: Perhaps I Suppose... By Rufio Release date: By 12 June, 2001

Terrible Two's

2006-01-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

Two Names You Go By
1. Justin...obviously
2. Yustin

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Native
2. Hungarian

Two Things That Scare You
1. older women
2. spiders

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. sleep
2. water

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. swim trunks
2. plad slippers

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment)
1. Reception
2. The O.C. Supertones

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. more punk or rock then me
2. Brutal honesty

Two Truths
1. i hate mustaches
2. i have one

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You About the Opposite Sex.
1. Brown hair with no bangs (sorry blondes and reds, don't hate me)
2. Smile (i'm a sucker for a good one)

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Driving
2. Personal Preferance (you'll get the game back mom)

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. A small truck
2. Flying powers

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. NY
2. Germany

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Have a dog
2. fly by my own power

Two Ways That You are Stereotyped
1. Insensitive (wow was that a mistake person)
2. Christian

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. Trav and Dave music
2. a dream i had a couple of days ago

Two Stores You Shop At
1. Sobey's (IGA R.I.P.)
2. Doug's spoke and sport

Two people you haven't talked to in a while
1. Courtney Bowman (for a good reason)
2. Duncan Lundy (for a bad reason)

Two favorite web sites
1. myspace
2. hotmail and that's about it.

Two cars you owned
1. 79 VW bus (big pimp'n)
2. 89 Mekur XR4TI

Two People who will fill this out
1. Joel on a lunch break at work
2. You

Currently listening: Something to Write Home About By The Get Up Kids Release date: By 28 September, 1999

Home bound?

2006-01-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

i'm pretty sure that i'm going to Lloyd on saturday. "Hey, Steve!"

Currently listening: Before Everything & After By MXPX Release date: By 16 September, 2003

Ohhhhh Frenchie!

2005-12-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

So my friend form Quebec flew in last night and now she's here!!!!!!! Some of you may already have heard about her from me talking and jazz. For those of you who haven't heard about her, i met her on tour and now she's here! She has a myspace and a blog, here they are if you want to check them out and be a friend (if you have a myspace). j3llybean.blogspot.com and her name is Genevieve and she's the first friend on myspace. Later kids.

Family

2005-12-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

So i was at my grand parents house and there's ten children then seventeen grandkids in the place. It was busy. The little kids (thirteen and under) had their own table. As i was walking by the boys were talking about growing mustaches and that it was cool! Boys are funny but they do get better with age, we aren't as easily impressed with are body hair any more ladies so no worries!
Currently listening: Beneath Medicine Tree By Copeland Release date: By 25 March, 2003

Yeah there's a tent!

2005-12-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah there's a tent in my room!

And there's Christmas lights set up in there ta boot!

It's Evee's old tent, she gave it to me, hurray for Zoidburg!

Oh, how i will miss my bike this season!

That's all the Christmas cards thus far. The car out side is Steph's and she's letting me use it for the holidays! Wow, whata lady. It's a CRX even!

Merry X-mas to all of you!

Me and some of my family.

C-stone

2005-12-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

i needed this bath bad. i hadn't showered in a week because we were already on tour. And being on tour you do not have the luxury of self-preservation. i didn't have money for the outrageously priced showers so i did it old school.

This is it, i'm at Cornerstone two thousand and five and it's been a week or more since i last showered and being at C-stone only makes the situation worse. It's dry, dusty, and sweaty there. Plus thirty everyday. Dust from the road kicks up and chokes the salvation right out of you .... almost. They had showers there but they were freaking expensive and us tour boys don't have that kind of money, a dollar a minute i think. There are all sorts of girls there that i felt the need to impress so i wanted to be clean, lots of punk girls! Being a guy sucks for that reason, feeling compelled to impress every one, like we are worth their time. i’m sure glad God loves us for who we are. There's was also these three Texas girls that i was hanging around the whole week and i felt bad for them, what with my "deago mustache and my greasy hair!" They guys i stayed with were from Illinois and they were bathing in the lake, so that's what i did. These guys are the greatest. i had a bar of soap and some shampoo and went to town. i felt so much better and the Farsighted boys even commented on how nice i looked. It was like i just had the baptism of the Holy Spirit and there was still a glow around me.
Currently listening: Theory of Harmonial ValueBy MoneenRelease date: By 14 May, 2002

Brunch Time

2005-12-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

Now, brunch time has nothing on recess time. Nothing can beat recess so that's the end of that discussion. For the most part my place here in S'toon becomes a "bed in breakfast" and it's all on the house for the guest. Rarely do i make them pay for something. i just want them to have a great time and enjoy themselves, to kick back and relax! i took pics this time so all you readers can see what goes on here. Saturday mornings i will still watch cartoons but not as long as i'd like because i have to begin brunch! It's my favorite part of saturdays. i make a full course meal for five to eight people. To my amazment most of the girls that come don't know how to cook. Sure threy can do the standard stuff like butter bread but when it gets technical like using a toaster, they're hooped! So i like to teach them and get them involved in the cooking. The whole late morning/early afternoon is about socializing and hanging out with friends. i like to mix it up and not have the same people over all the time. So far Evan has been there three times and wendy twice but that's it so far. Evan has been there so much because we usually go out biking later on that day. It's a great day, toons, visiting, food, biking, shopping, and a bible study. This is what can happen on my Satudays. Recently i had Evees, Wendy, Evan, and Stephany over. Penney is always there because he lives there which is good. When he leaves for a week end or something i bring a knife to bed just in case! The place seems so much more empty when he's gone. So on with the pics!!!!!!

That's the back of Steph's head.

This is it.

There's egges, suasages, baccon, french toast, porridge, pineapple, peaches, a muffin, juice, milk, egg nog, and hashbrowns.

Here's the host, me. Yeah, i'm sport'n the bandana again!

Nothing

2005-12-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

i have some really incredible people who have stuck by me regardless of the mess i have made in the past few days and the ones in the past years. Just this year i've been telling my moms everything because she's a frick'n super lady. She is sick right now so please pray for that. She's done a lot of counseling for all her life; it's kind of her job. This is why i've been reluctant to tell her everything because i was way to afraid that i would become a patient instead of a son. But she's so good to me, way different then i thought. For this new particular mess of mine she's had great advice to give me. It's hard to get good advice for me. There's another friend who said some pretty similar things to me tonight when compared to moms. It's miss Steph A. from CPC. As most people do, i beat my self up when i screw up because i know of the damage i caused. That's the words i get from most of the people who know what's going on, to not keep kicking my self. "It's fine for awhile but you have to forgive your self." Just so you know, i can't let this one down though; one is defined by their own actions.
My spiritual father said to me once "your greatest desire will over come, no matter what," and i've been thinking about that for the past few years and it's true. Every wrong or good thing i've done is ultimately because i wanted to. It may have been my flesh or my spirit that had lead me to the choice but my greatest desire over came the weaker one. Both my moms and my friend Steph told me that i have a great heart. Not only them but also i get comments like that from either a friend i just met or from the one lady who been there from the start. Now, i'm not trying to convince anyone other wise here in this letter. i just want to say that i disagree, a great heart with any good intentions would not have made a mess to this degree and allow innocent people to get hurt, period.If i could go back to the summer before i went to college to ask my self if i would do have done this i would laugh and say it's out of my character, that it's not with in my personality to do this. That was only two years ago. My Lloyd friends who i have not kept in contact with can testify to this.

This darkness deepens, Lord with me abide. And what does not flow freely from you? Am i convicted of what i say or do? Forgive me of this pride that knows Your redemption yet shamelessly walks away. And now my life ebbs away. Night pierces my bones and these gnawing pains never rest.

And now i long for that day (when i return to ashes and dust).

If my steps turn from the path, or if heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, then may others reap what i have sown. Better that i dwell in the house of the Lord who upholds all those who fall than reap this harvest of a life waged in the flesh. And what do i gain but the exchange of truth for a lie? And a heart conditioned not to feel, callused by the nature of my pride?

And now my life ebbs away.

Attention CPC-ers

2005-12-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

If you have something to say to me then please say it and quit talking shit behind my back. i had a friend tell me some harsh things that have been going around your mouths. Not impressed. i don't know why i love people like you but i do .... and i had no choice, Jesus made do it. If you want truth then talk with me, not against me. The sad part is i don't expect you to, for we are Christians!

Currently listening: On the Strength of All Convinced By Daphne Loves Derby Release date: By 26 July, 2005

No Work Day

2005-12-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

i couldn't get a ride out to where i work today so i don't have to go! My boss didn't mind either so that's cool. i want to go for a ride so that would be nice.

Currently listening: Where You Want To Be By Taking Back Sunday Release date: By 27 July, 2004

Booger in mouth

2005-12-04T21:14:00.000-07:00

i picked my friend's nose tonight and put it in my other friend’s mouth! It was freak'n awesome!
And in other news, this week is now known as "No Friends" week. i need a break so if you are my friend and would like to visit me you can't. Except for Pipper and his girlfriend because i forgot about my plans with them last week so i feel bad and invited them over for this week. They are watching a romantic movie here on Tuesday and they just started dating so i want them to be able to spend time together with out the CPC rules! No slips at my place so PDA is just fine!
Currently listening: The Magic Touch: An Anthology By The Platters Release date: By 22 October, 1991

p.s. milk was a bad choice

2005-12-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

i wrote this last night and now i have the chance to blog what i wrote. This is all about last night, Saturday dec, third ....
i'm actually writing this on paper right now. It's Saturday night and my roommate is in bed and that's where the computer is. Today was a day filled with a lot of good shtuff. For starters it's Saturday and i had my years worth of sugar in one sitting (again) thanks to General Mills making a box of children targeted cold breakfast cereal! Count Chocula to be exact! It has wheat-based chunks saturated in chocolate. That's nice and all but the best part is the sidekick to the chocolate goodness, the mini dried marshmallows. That was the selling point for me. During the "death to my health" cereal is cartoons of course. Wow, does this relax me or what. i don't know if i'll ever kick this tradition every Saturday morning. Cartoons are so good to me. To top it off Moffat was here for the thing because he slept over.
Another good thing is this morning was that Moffat, Penney, and i went out for a ride. This one was super fun not because there was a lot of good tricks thrown down but because there was a lack of any thing good landed. i'm fine with that because all that was not landed was frick'n awesome. It was mostly good crashes and we didn't have a camera to get it on footy so now none of you get to see it.
Moffat left his seat in Wendy's car so he was standing for most of the day. Penney's detailer was not working right so that sucked. If Moffat couldn't pull off a trick he always used to land on his seat but today when he would land he would get an enema, with or with out consent from him! Penney was trying a gap that he had only done once before and that was two minutes earlier then his big pack out. He landed on himself and by landing on him i mean he landed on his balls. So he was out for a while. And me, well i don't fall much but when i do it's over the most pointless things like today. Today i was fooling around at the start of the trip by running into bushes for no good reason. Well Annabelle (my bike) bucked me upward only to land like Penney was about to, on my balls. It's good that it happened at the beginning because i had time to heal.
After fooling around on our bikes for two and a half hours we came home, got a couple pizzas, and simply chilled. Us three boys had a devotional, which was such a blessing. Moffat and i cleaned up for the Christmas party that was about to happen at CPC. Lenz came over after he was done work so we could all go together. Penney stayed home for the night, i think? So once we were ready on our way out Lenz ran into the fire extinguisher mounted in a box with the shattering glass! It made a huge crash that i know even the second floor heard. That's when i laughed really loud and a dreadful sense of remorse immediately followed. You see, Lenz is a really kind guy and he felt terrible for what happened, even until the end of the night when he dropped me off he was concerned about it! What a heart he has.
Now for the party. There was a lot of old faces and a few new ones. There was very little drama which always a blessing. Stephanie just got back from a trip to Thunder Bay so it was good o see again. Lavonne and i talked for fifteen minutes or so and it was wonderful because it wasn't awkward for once. We used to have such good conversations and they are finally back to that. There were some super funny skits and songs performed tonight ... I LOVE CPC! It is so good. Angie Schmidt was there and we just became friends. i wasn't aloud in for awhile at the beginning because my date hadn't shown up yet! i didn't even know i had one! Due to me not attending the school this year i had to be an "invited guest" by a student or staff member and as it turns out Courtney Bowman was my "date!" She didn't know about either. The best part of the night was the time spent with Even and Joe, by far. If you are reading this and you don't know a one Evan Moffat and/or a one Joe Kendrick then get a hold of me so you can get to know them. You have to get under that teaching if you aren't. Evan asked and said some pretty daring things that only a true friend would try. It didn't hurt or bother me because they were issues that needed to be addressed. We bared our hearts and encouraged one another as usual. i love this guy. Then Joe invited me to listen to a song that he co-wrote with Pipper. It sounds super good. Whenever we get together it's filled with a peace that get's to the soul and slows down life for me. We're gonna get together some time soon and it's gonna be good. The last thing i'll mention is a secret Santa gave my friend a gift that was crazy inappropriate. It i was a violent man all who were at the party tonight would've seen it. What the person gave was both uncalled for and disgusting. It degrades my friend and something has to be done. Dear reader, could you please pray for both the secret Santa and my friend because there must be something seriously wrong if stuff like this is happening? So this is all that happened today. My heart is very happy. i love life! This is it.

Currently listening: Say It Like You Mean It By The Starting Line Release date: By 16 July, 2002

Trevor

2005-12-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

This is one of my myspace friends. He's always been a big help in my life for girls. There's nothing we don't keep from each other no matter how much pride we feel we'll lose. He's been a big help for me when my dad died. He let Ian take his car up to S'toon to pick me up the next day it happened, no questioned asked! He let me borrow his car for the evening so i could take a girl on a date and he rarely lets some one take his car! We have an understanding with each other that i don't have with ninty nine percent of my friends .... well maybe only ninty five but you know what i mean. Him and Joel are the two best people in Lloyd, hands down. Joel will get his blog another time, for now it's about T-dawg. He took me out to play hockey for my frist time a couple of week ends ago. i'll finish this later, i'm talking with a friend.

cold hearted manners

2005-12-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

It's cold out there so dress up warm kids. Working in it is better then i thought it would've been. i realized something this weekend, there's a space between God and myself .... and i believe it's not me who put it there. i have tried with an earnest heart but it's still there. i'm tired .....

p.s. i love you

2005-11-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

i woke up first, like usual, before the other guys. This time was going to be different, different from the other times i woke up to my self. When i did wake up it was in some nameless town in New Brunswick, one of the greatest times on tour. i cruised around the town on my bike for a good while before finding the boarder of the U.S. and Can.. There was a mist that was spanning from one American town to one home country town. My heart went real tight at that point. It was something from a movie, i swear. All i knew that was true in my life did not concern me any more, i was States bound and it was just me! What divided the country here was a river so i crossed the bridge and went for my bike ride in Maine. It was incredible! The Boarder Guard lady asked me what my buisness was and how long i'd be staying for. i told her that i just wanted to go for a ride and it would be an hour before i came back. She probably didn't understand how i could be so enthused about my trip, either way i was on my way. The town across the river was no different. "There's nothing new under the sun!" But to me they were worlds apart ........ i was a world away from everything.

2005-11-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

A- Age of your first kiss: My first real good kiss was back in highschool.
B- Band you are listening to right now: Motion City Soundtrack, super good stuff!
C- Crush- Probably orange?
D- Drink you drank last: Bluebarry/Palmagrant
E- Easiest person to talk to: My moms
F- Favorite ice cream- a medium Brownie Batter Blizzard, extra batter, and then extra batter again. It's a six dollar blizzard but it's so good!
G- Gummy worms or gummy bears: Worms?
I- Instruments: i got a set of pipes
J- Jelly Flavor: grape
K- Kids: My jr. youth kids, um my lil bro's and sis
L- Longest car/bus ride: From Lloyd to Rimouski Quebec, then as far down as Bushnell Illinois, then back to Lloyd! Tour was frick'n awesome! The longest bus ride was from Lloyd to Panarama, B.C. Thirteen hours.
M- Major issue: Being interupted. When i'm telling a story and i get cut off it shows me that the person cares more about what they have to say then to care about my passions or personal interests. Just let me finish what i have to say and then say your peace. But then you can get that person who will start talking as soon as you finish and you know that they were just waiting for you to stop. You can tell that they too don't care about what you are saying. i useually don't even say what i want to really say, i just keep asking questions about what they mean or about the topic and that way they know for sure that i care.
N- Nicknames: Frick, ummmm, J-dawg, gangsta-J, Vadasz, Dazzle, Vidizzle, son, chief, christian, cabbie, Yustin.
O- One wish: To have my favorite car, a Ford Sierra 500 RS .... or my wife!
P- Phobia: Waking up to another man!
Q- Quote: "..it's big and burrly so i can drop in extra heavy..."
R- reason to smile: almost anything, mostly strangers
S- Shoe size: maybe eleven or so
T- Time you woke up today: 2:45ish, then 4:something, then 6:thirtyish, the i woke up at eightish and stayed awake!
U- Unknown fact about me: I eat my scabs
V- vegtables: What about them?W- Worst Habit: waiting four or five days to shower.
X- Xmas gift you really want: My wife! No but really, plaese? stuff for my bike, stickers, friends and family. i love hanging out with my friends and family.
Y- Your dream date: All i want to do is make the date happy so it really depends on them.
Z-Zebra?: yes please!

Moffat .... who?

2005-11-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

So my great/awesome/spectacular/ridiculously cool friend is in all likelihood moving back to Winnipeg coming end of semester. That is so sad because chances are the distance will kill the friendship. i'm just trying to be realistic. The guy is so impressive that girls instinctivly flock to him like the salman of Copistrono. i found out that he was moving back awhile ago but i just heard it from the horses mouth yesterday. Don't get me wrong, i'm not mad just frustrated because it sucks loosing a close friend and i know i can't do a thing about it. So, what i'm trying to say is .... Get down girl, go head, get down ....

Currently listening: Commit This to Memory By Motion City Soundtrack Release date: By 07 June, 2005

A Few Things Before i Go

2005-11-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

1- Moffat, Tim, and i had another bike day! We went to the skate park after i got off work at one. This time we brought a video camera so we could get some footie of it all. At the park there was a few BMX-ers ripping it up really nicely. Then we went across the river to a drop i've been looking at for a few weeks now. i suited up and actually put on a helmet for the first time. When i took a second look at the drop it seemed bigger then i remembered! The run up is a bit squirrelly but i tried it any way. i landed on my front tire for the first couple of seconds but managed to pull it off near the end. It felt so good to get that hit out of the way but i wanted to do it better for the camera so i did it again and this time it was butter! We ran into Kuffner on the way home. The next day it snowed.... frick'n Canada!

2- i'm going home for a wedding... but it's not me. It's Boy who's getting married. "Lucky!"

3- Last night i had a dream and Jennifer Lopez and Genevieve were in it. Also Courtney Bowman was in it too and she was mad at me? So i called her this morning to tell her the story of dream... Wow, i can't tell stories very well!

4- i'm in a magazine!!! It's called Decline and i'm in the back ground of one of the pics. It was in Whistler this summer at CrankWorx 2005! Man i love biking! This winter i hope to learn no handers really good and maybe the three spin.

5- "Go head girl, go head, get down...." Andi Pexi is the greatest!

National Sick Day

2005-10-19T09:07:00.000-06:00

Today I am sick. Sick enough to not work that is. I haven't been this sick for a couple years so I guess my time is due. So today I will be watching a lot of flicks, not moving, and calling my mom! I'll see if I can put up a picture if Evee's is around. To feel better I set up my humidifier and put on my winter pants and my fleece jacket. In my snowpants I found a couple bucks and my pocket knife from last year! I thought I lost that darn thing. The lesson today... get sick more often because you can find lost goods!

Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done

2005-10-17T19:43:00.000-06:00

As of last night I am off the market! Genevieve and I are now dating. We are like Batman and Robin, Cheech and Chong, Puss and Boots, a pair of double AA batteries, Thelma and Louise, Bonnie and Clyde, Zorro and his..... trusty....... stallion? Well maybe Zorro and his horse really work but you can get the picture. The best part is how it went down. I lost at a game of paper rock scissors, thus we date! Some of you may not who she is or that she even existed. Now you do and feel free to ask questions.

(p.s. the music that is listed is just a joke for you myspacers!)

Oh bike day, where have you gone?

2005-10-15T16:54:00.000-06:00

Today we went out for a four hour ride. It was windy so we never got to ride as much stuff as desired but it was still a fun day. The riders? Moffat, Penney, Barker, and my self. The pics? Right here!

This is the bike track near my place. Tim is front and left. My bike is at the top of the hit.

This is Moffat riding a bench.

That's Moffat again but falling... He did that a lot today.

Moffat rides this box so good!

This is at the University. If the rent-a-cops see me there i get a ticket? What's that about? En tout cas, this is Moffat once again riding the ledge.

This is the campus, so nice!

I was taking all the pics so there's none of me doing anything cool. I did take this one while i was cruising down a street however...

And this one...

And this one.

That's Penney and Moffat accross eight-th.

That's going to my place...

That's going away!

And that's it. Have a good day ya'll

This one is for Joe

2005-10-11T16:16:00.000-06:00

We were in Niagara Falls and we couldn't find a parking spot. The guys were getting frustrated and mad at each other. There was some yelling and there were exchanged words but we weren't getting anywhere. So finally we found a spot to park and as soon as we stepped out of the truck the parking guy comes. He told us we had to move because our truck and trailer were too big... not good news! That same morning I had lost fifty bucks in change (nickels, dimes, loonies....). I felt so ashamed because I left the cash box behind in some city in Ontario. So when the parking guy told us we had to go I was a jerk to him. I was being lippy and talking back. More shame fell upon me. That is the most human I became all tour. Other "bad" stuff happened it's just that this time it was my heart and pride that hurt. So we left with choice words for that man and continued on finding a spot. Ten minutes later the guy caught up to us and found a spot for us! He gave us a discount even and he told us we could stay there all night if we wanted! I treated him like scum and he helped us in return?

Joe Kendrick has lent me a cd and the musician is Jason Upton. Joe Kendrick spent some time with me today. This guy pours into my life like Duncan Lundy and like Evan Moffat. I think I'm going to spend more time with these guys because when they surround me God uses them some how to speak to me or bless me. I can bare my heart to them. Jason Upton's music is so good to me. My friend Jordan can't even listen to rock any more because it fails in comparison. He doesn't get feed like he does from Jason's services!

Yesterday...

2005-10-10T00:09:00.000-06:00

This is Evees and i in my kitchen this morning!

Evees and Nick from The Reception. Those guys are sooooo nice. Ya gotta love the handle bars stache on Nick!

This is Andrew on the left me and then JP. They just left this morning and i cooked them. i made them some sausages and chocolate/banana pancakes! Super good.

John is at the computer and JP is on the floor. We played Crainium last night.

The guys were watching "Best of Will Ferrall V.1" this morning after brakefast.

This is me a few days ago trying to sleep during a movie. i always sleep during movies if my friends are with me. They always talk during them so i can't enjoi it enough. Yesterday and today have been so good for me and my spirit. Those guys are very encouraging and lifting. There is more joy inside me and i love it. i had some good news from my friend Genevieve last night too. She kinda really likes me and i kinda really like her.

Thanksgiving

2005-10-09T23:57:00.000-06:00

Today i was at the Heirs for Supper. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving for Canada and the food gets big. Big like baseball in Japan big! There was one of the professors at the house for supper and she brought her two boys. Ethan (five) and Jared (nine). We played "crack the egg" and "bum wars” on the trampoline. After the food i had them play one more game with me and that was the dizzy game! i wanted to spin them around and around till they puked but the never did. i ended up laughing to much! The Heirs had a bench swing like the one i swung on at some lake in Quebec.... Oh the good ol' days! Then i got a call from my upstairs neighbor that someone was at her place? It turns out that a band i toured with four a week is here! The Reception form Winnipeg! These guys are the most incredible guys. i love there hearts. Tomorrow morning i'm making them breakfast, i love having my own place!

Huh?

2005-10-08T08:03:00.000-06:00

i woke up this morning not five minutes ago with a Prozack song playing in my head. What the heck is that about?

My Self

2005-09-02T18:17:00.000-06:00

Most people know me who read this. Here is some of the stuff that's been going on in my head for the past week or two. i had a revelation from God a couple of nights ago. There's a verse that speaks about being faithful in the small things and God will keep giving you bigger things to do. i realized that to a new depth in my heart. It has been the little things that i have let in my soul that have changed me so much in the two years away form home. Some of which is sin and some that isn't.

In life my favorite smell is laundry. It's the only smell that brings true joy for me. It's familiar to me no matter where i go. And every time it reminds me of my mom and how beautiful she truly is. While i was on tour i could smell it coming from a house that i've never seen but it felt like home. It felt warm inside, i knew it had to be.

My brother Jesse is great. From him i've learned how to be "cool." i've always looked up to him regardless of anything that he's done. i haven't experienced love for some one more then i have for him. i knew he was out drinking the night before form how long his piss was in the morning. This was when i was a fourteen year old and i wanted to be perfect because of Jamie Popoff, my youth pastor at the time. i knew what Jesse did i didn't do but i never shook my head at him once. He called me once when i was nineteen from Calgary. He was telling me of the kind of life he was leading and telling me of all the scary nights he had. All i've ever wanted for him is to be a part of my life. It's both of our faults though. i've been busy with my college stuff and he's been busy moving from city to city. He's so funny and i don't know anybody who hasn't liked him. One day he came home crying from school. i didn't know what happened but i didn't like it and i started crying too. Who would want to hurt my brother? That could've been the first time i felt hate.

My mom and i have these heart to heart talks once in a while. It's never planned, they just happen around midnight till the wee hours of the morning. We bare or souls to each other and we don't hold much back. This is the best lady i know. My favorite too. She loves it when i laugh in the basement, my laughter comes wafting up the stairs and brings her heart more joy then i just had. She has six kids and just lost her ex-husband! This is one strong lady and deserves more then i could ever give her. She reminds me of the old poor lady Jesus talks about, the one in the church who gave her last two penny's to them. My mom always gives to me out of her little, whether it be time or money. She's always fixing my pants, making me special food because i'm too picky, or being more then a mom when she doesn't have to be. i'd give her a body massage when i was a kid so i would have just enough to rent a video game. For my birthday when i was four she put Smarties on the white frosting. i've never had a better birthday then that one. i was peacefully happy when i got that cake. One time i spilled the sugar bowl over. i was a kid so i got on the table to lick it all up, that's how i cleaned i guess when i was young. It's something about my mom that i could hurt my self five hours before she got home but as soon as she gets in the door i could start crying just because she was there to save me from my pain. She my angel.

i've always felt alone ever since my dad died. He was my best friend in the sense that he knew exactly how to make me laugh and he nevr looked down on me. He was a goof ball to the extreme. No matter what i told him he loved it, he never would judge me or tell me to change. He was really encouraging. Every day it hurts, underneath and it feels like it won't let up at all. i told him once that i wanted to be a truck driver. i just like the truck but he knew that i would have no life dong that job. It's a last resort kind of job. The last time i saw him he was so proud of me and he said that he would love me even if i was a truck driver. The last time i saw him i told him that i loved him still and that i was proud of him. Now i often wonder why it wasn't enough, what did i need to do to save him? i thought it was enough, so much for good intentions. Me and Jesse would always play with dinky cars and bricks at his house. He would tell us stories of his lost youth and we'd eat up every word of it. Never once did i question his stories; how crazy they were. He had them all too, fire works, martial arts, world class drumming, fights, girls, and drugs. His life was so colorful because of his stories. If i just saw him on the street i would think that he was just some rig pig but he is so much more. When ever he'd cook us something he never told us how he did it. His answer never changed, "It's an old Hungarian recipe." He knew everything too. My brother and i would ask him all sorts of questions and he would know the answers. He's the smartest guy i know. When he'd be having some cookies or a treat we'd ask if we could have some but he had an awesome response for it "No, it's a prescription from the doctor, it's a kind of medicine." Of course we'd get some after but it was always that few seconds in between asking and receiving that are so terrible to kids.

That's all.

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TOUR

2005-08-29T16:30:00.000-06:00

So here it is.....
June tenth was the day we left..... i got back August nineteenth. It was a long tour. The whole thing was a love/hate relationship. i loved the road, the adventure, the people, and the experiance. So show after show i've learned to hate screaming music. i've seen numerous bands that can be categorized in this genera and they sound pretty similar. This is defiantly the year of the double kick and most bands i've seen don't even use it right. There was a lot that went down and i'm super sure i won't remember it all but here's to trying!
We played in Red Deer at the beginning. It was a bill (cool band lingo for a show) that we hoped on last second and there was six bands playing that night! Four bands should be the max for any show at night but these guys wanted a bunch of bands for some weird reason. The venue was a room off of a church so the dude running the show didn't want any body swearing on the stage. Ten Second Epic form Edmonton couldn't comply to this simple rule and one, ONE slipped out and they were shut down! After their first song the were told to get off! Every one including me knew the words to the next song so before the sound guy pulled the plug on them (literal) they started the song. So when the music stopped the crowd kept blasting their voices until the end of the song. Meanwhile the security guys are taking the mic stands away, tearing down the drum set, and pushing the band members off the stage! After them was Farsighted and they played last. Every one was tired and nobody had respect for the venue so there wasn't too many people left for them! It's to bad but they weren't even supposed to play....... i don't know what happened next so i'm just going to tell stories that i remember off the top of my head.......

One time in Ottawa Joel and i were going to a bar to see if they ever have live bands play and see if we could play. Before we got down all the stairs i noticed a poster with a few naked people on it. Then i noticed another poster with just a guy naked on it and then it dawned on me.... IT'S A GAY BAR! i love gay people and they are super funny but we decided the rest of the boys wouldn't what to play there! In Hull, Que we went to a museum. Before i went in there i noticed a two Japanese girls taking pictures of each other so i figured that they'd want a pic of them together. i approached them and asked if they'd like that idea and so i did. In broken English one of them asked if she could have a pic with me because i was handsome! i laughed good at that one! Just so all you guys know, this country is filled with gorgeous women! Most of them are in Quebec and B.C. There are two for Texas though!

There was soo many names for tour, but here are three. "Find Justin a Wife Tour", "The Gay Tour", "The Above The Balls Tour." The first one was because i didn't have a girlfriend so the guys kept getting me to flirt with girls. i asked a girl from Red deer to marry me and she said yea but i haven't seen her since so i think it's off? There was another girl form Calgary that i asked and she said no, we didn't know each other so i can see where she was coming from. The second name is because of the bar Joel and i walked in on and also in Toronto! We didn't know it at the time but we parked Frank the Tank (the 2002 leather Ford Excursion we drove all tour!) in the gay part of TO! Joel and i were cooking chicken noodle soup for supper (because we're the poor ones on tour) and we kept seeing only pairs of guys or girls. Then i saw two dudes holding hands and then i saw a dude riding a bike with a purple mesh tank top with short-short cut off jean shorts! It caught us off guard due to the small town prairie mind set! Joel and i got to see the Maple Leaf Gardens, a Ferarri dealership, a Bentley Dealership, and a Lambergini Dealership! Oh, i gotta go, later

More Pics!

2005-08-19T13:40:00.000-06:00

So here are some more pics of my family, i like them!

This is me and my bro Louis (fifteen)

My bro Louis and my sis Cheyenna (nine)

Now this is my cousin with the white thing on his neck and my bro Levis (five). My cousin broke his collar bone because of bike riding. Apparently they are really getting into bikes because i jump bikes.

This is my Gramps, he's relaxing in front of the tv!

Now here's some of me for all those who haven't seen me for the summer!

Some guys like flowers..... i don't, they all smell the same to me, k! My grandparents back yard, not bad hey!

Pimp'n ain't easy!

So i just got back from tour........IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll be writing all about it soon. i just need some down time to relax and then i'll write you guys all about it. Some stuff i have to leave out because i try to keep this blog a PG rated one. Besides, i'd hate for you to pass judgement and sin because of the stories!

The West Coast?

2005-08-06T19:59:00.000-06:00

i don't like it he that much. Mind you, i'm on a tour and i don't get to see the sites, just the shows. One cool thing about being out by/on the island is that we played across the street from Avril Lavine on the same night! Other then that it's been only all right. i don't like the curving roads at all. The bike scene is real good of course. That would be the only reason why i would come out here again. i'm at yet another internet cafe but this time on the other side of the country. Vancouver right now and we've driven a good twenty thousand kilometers so far. It looks like i'll be back home on the nineteen-the instead of the twenty-the. Don't worry Joe, i forgive you for not being able to make it to the Edmonton show. i really miss my older bro Jesse. We had some time to hang out when i was back in Lloyd for a couple days. i don't know any one quit like him. And sorry to every one how doesn't get calls or doesn't get them any more because i ran my moms phone bill a little too high! i'm talking a hundred dollars above normal high. Because of this trip i have been calling people in Quebec, Manitoba, Newfoundland, Alberta, B.C., Texas, and Saskatchewan. i still need to call the illusions boys too! Take care and God bless. Thanks for all the prayers and if you asked me to pray for you just know that i have and am still..........

i'm in love and foot in mouth

2005-08-04T12:52:00.000-06:00

Just so you all know i'm in love! In the immortal words of that priest in "princess Bride" "Wuv..... True Wuv!" The thing is can't have what i want. You see, i'm in love with three thing/people. My bike for one. i left my bike back in Lloyd because it was a pain for the guys while i did have it. Now that i'm in B.C. i kinda regret that decision because there's so much to ride out here. The second thing i'm in love with is Quebec. i won't be there for awhile due to the cost of traveling so it sucks that i can't be there. When i do return to that beautiful country i will tell of it's great wonders to you all. The third ache in my heart is The Reception... They're a band form Winnipeg. They kick some serious tush! There's four guys in the band and they are super nice to me, okay. They've been such an encouragement for the past three days. We've now played a total of four shows with them and they are incredible, if you ever have the chance to see them don't miss it.
Now for the second part of the title... One of the guys from the Reception asked me if i got my dad a card for fathers day to see if i was a good son or not. He only said it for a joke and he would have never known what happened to my dad. He felt bad after and it was a little awkward. That was the biggest "foot in mouth experience i've ever had.
i'm currently in Williams lake B.C. at some guys house. i'll be in Victoria tomorrow! That should be cool because i've never seen the ocean!

A few things

2005-07-31T08:25:00.000-06:00

For starters i realized recently that i have two sides to me. There's the Christian side and then there's me. When i meet new people or i'm around Christians i bring out the super kind and soft justin. When i am with my old construction crew for example or by my self i am me. The real me. i hold nothing back and do/say what i want to. There is no room for second guesses or thoughts, it's all impulse and i think nothing of it. Paul says to be all things to all people. i don't want to step on anyone's toes because i hate tension so i try to act the way they want. i know exactly who i am because lord knows i spend enough alone time to know what i really think. Most of my life i was not a Christian and i learned a lot of who i am form either Duncan or my dad. These two guys are far from each other. Most of my friends are Christian so they see the Duncan in me but then there's the choice few (very few) that know me. i mostly hold back my self from others because i'd hate for them to sin due to judging me.
Another thing is my Granny! She was telling me a story about her and my Grandpa having a race a week or two ago. They make me want to get married and be retired right now. They are not however the old cute couple you see at your grocery store, they are not that old. They always leave and greet each time with a kiss to each other. It never fails. Now how nice would that be, to have someone to kiss every day!
Another thing is have you ever heard of the phrase "i'll beat you like a red headed orphan?" well just yesterday i saw that happen. This "mom" had a four year old red headed child, a eight year old native child, and a thirteen year old black child and none of them looked like her so that means they are most likely adopted. Anyway, this lady up and slapped the young one right in front of me. i have never seen such abuse in my life.
And now for the up date on where i am......Edmonton. Today is Sunday and i'll be in Calgary tomorrow. The road life is getting better. Thank you to all your prayers. They are noticeable.

2005-07-28T02:08:00.000-06:00

Here is a few pictures of my self and some friends!

The guy in the blue shirt is my best friend and he's tree planting in bc right now.

This is me at college... that's all i ever did.

This is Even again. He's planing on buying a P3... for all you non-bikers, that's an urban and dirt jump bike.

This is my escort Sarah and i at the christmas thing for our college back in 03'. What a wonderful woman of god.

That's all for now. i'll be back on the road in a couple days. i'll be done tour in about three weeks and how glorious that day will be. Take care Texas, Quebec, Mom, Granny, Bothers/Sister, CPC'ers, and the common man who reads this .

Today

2005-07-19T15:12:00.000-06:00

Most of you might not know but today is my birthday. i am the first to by the present, to sing the song, to wish it happy and all that, and finally to give the card. Today is "all about me" so i figure that i should do it all as well! Oh, i also made my self supper and bought my own "cake!" As good as all this is to me, i am not satisfied. All i have done today is finsh the first season of O.C.! The day is half over and so there is still hope to redeem this "____" of a day (replace blank with whatever word you deem suitable) . i have recieved a few b-day letters from friends so that's good. My day got alot better when i read them so thanks to you all for them. i know that god will bless you all because he bless one such as me. So as my time at yet another internet cafe dwindals down i leave you with this................... "but why me god, why should you choose me. And your team god, can you use even me?"

Old Days!

2005-07-17T14:44:00.000-06:00

i had some of the best days of my life lately. i spent them at a lake in Quebec relaxing and doing nothing at all. i didn't spend too much time with the boys so that probably contributed. My back is as red as a lobster so i'll be pealing that off later. There was lots of swimming and boating. A couple of days before that i was in Ramouski Que and ran into a couple of locals who ride the same kind of style as i do. They showed me the secret local spots and i got to ride the best stuff i've done in my life! The lake was still better because it will always be "the good old days!" i spent most of it talking with my new friend Genevieve on a swinging bench exchanging life stories. She's like another friend of mine in a way. Gene speaks broken English so it's kinda hard to communicate but we still get by. She's like Lavonne because she's just as blunt as her but with the French accent! i haven't heard someone tell me just like it is in along time, well, since January. But my time is up at yet another internet cafe! i'm in Ottawa right now.
This is the first sunday i missed going to church on tour! i, for once, want to go to church! i have been praying and i have been reading the word of God. Thank you all who do pray for me because it is needed. When i ask you not to it's only a joke because most of you have a heart to do it anyway! God bless to all and "take care."

Quebec and Key Boards

2005-07-11T18:51:00.000-06:00

i am in the city of Quebec again! It is definatly the best that i have been to in my life thus far. The key boards how ever suck. They are all in french and so when ever i want to do an apostrophe it makes this è. i miss being back home because there is a couple of the guys that are really getting to me, super lots. It gets pretty bad some times but i am not one to lash out and cause a scene because i hate tention but i just leave it. Nothing gets resolved and it is left in the air. After the dude cools down everything is suposedly fine but i would like to talk it through. i guess i am too much like a girl when it comes down to relationships of any kind. Well the other guys are done here so they want to go and that means i want to go too........ SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!

im Back!

2005-07-07T14:40:00.000-06:00

This time i have time to write a little........................ Cornerstone was great! i didn't care much for the bands (and there was some pretty big ones) it was the people that made the week! The boys moved the trailer on me so i ended up wal;king around the huge camp till two in the morning! That was good because then i wouldn't have meet the Illinois boys! These guys saw me walking up a hill super tired and asked me why. i gave them my shpeal and they had room in their tent so it worked. These boys consist of sixteen and seventeen year old youthfulness. They kept me up for quit some time that night asking me all sorts of Canadian related questions. i found my boys later on and decided that i wouldn't stay with them for two reasons. 1- i got free food from the Illinois boys and 2- it was nice to take a vacation away from my boys. However there was three girls from Texas that were the farsighted's neighbors. They were the second best part of the week. Copeland is defiantly number one! But these girls were so fun. They have these accents that took my breath away due to all the laughter. They say lady all the time to each other and awe, i can't go on. They were incredible. After being in Quebec i've started to make plans to go back there next summer. And now after meeting these girls i've started to make plans to see them in December! It's gonna be so good too. Plans for the apartment in stoon for September are in motion. Penney is going down there this weekend to check it out. The best part is that Evees will be in the same one just under or above us! It will be like dorm life again but with out the rules (not that i followed them all the time anyways). i was just in Niagara Falls yesterday! That place is pretty. i found my dream house there, it's an old power building right on the river bank. It was built back in nineteen-o-six. It's condemned but with a little TLC she'll look better then Ezra? i don't know where that Ezra part came from but the place has potential. December can not come sooner! Right now i'm in downtown Toronto. It's okay, i went to a free pool! That was good to me. i wish ya'll could meet the Texan girls. i don't know have much more to write about. i do but i don't have my journal here to help me remember it all. my bike is doing good, i'm in good spirits, God has been blessing me. Oh that's something, God has blessed me. Okay, so when we were heading down to Cornerstone the heat was super hot, like forty hot (just over one hundred for you Texan girls!) and the guys were saying that it's going to be a hot week but i said "no, God won't do that to me, he loves me." The weather temp was perfect! On the last day it looked like it was going to rain bad, the dark clouds were heavy with dreadful rain that would put a damper on the week's end (pardon the pun!). It was fifty percent chance of showers and we're in the middle of tornado country! Texas was all like "it's gonna rain" and was like "no way ho say, God wouldn't do that to me, he loves me" and it didn't rain. That night we stayed out under the starts (the Texas girls and i) and it didn't rain then yet. It wasn't till the next day the it rained, as soon as we pulled away from the camp! So staying with the girls out there was fun, we all stayed up till five in the morning! super good times. We read cosmo together, potato sack races, story telling time, and freaking out over spiders time! My hour is almost up so until next time, keep fit and have fun! That last sentence is lame, ummm, how about God bless and take care. Ya, i like that one.

Once agian

2005-06-28T01:26:00.000-06:00

Once agian i have little time to write. Quebec has been the best part of my life so far! There isn't a better place on earth i'd rather be. The people were so hospitable and beautiful. i did however go to the world finals downhill cup! There was all the top pros from across the globe. They came down the hill wicked fast and i had the top three finishers sign my shirt! i'll have to write a long letter later when i have time but for now i'm in Toronto and i'll be in the states in a couple days and won't be back for just over a week. At that time there might be a huge mother load of a letter for all to read. Until then God bless and DON'T PRAY FOR ME!!!!! unless you feel lead to. .......................................p.s. i'm moving to Quebec soon!

no time

2005-06-24T14:06:00.000-06:00

i'm in montreal right now. i'm in some internet cafe thing and i have three minutes and fourty nine minutes so i kinda want to hurry. i miss you all form cpc and i miss my mom. it's been great here and i'l write later when i have more time and the boys aren't restless and want to leave. God bless and i'm a christian, yeah!

Numb

2005-06-18T18:35:00.000-06:00

i don't know what to write exactly. i'm at my spiritual father's house right now. Just a little while ago i was in Calgary. That was a good time there. i'm numb right now because there's been so much that's happened in the past few days i just don't feel much right now. This always seems to happen when i should type so people know what's going on in my life. i really could use my friends from back home to get me out of here (home being stoon). i am having a hard time on tour with these boys but i won't complain in this letter, now is not the time. i'll let you all in on what has been going on around me but not what's going on in me.
i haven't been biking as much as i thought i'd be, there's been more skateboarding surprisingly enough. There was a middle aged lady at a bar we played at a couple of nights ago who was pissed out of her mind. She kept flirting hard core with us and wanted to come to our trailer! After that show in the back alley way i met a homeless guy. i had a good time with him and all we did was talk about random jazz that did not relate to either of us. i felt i knew him more personally then i do a lot of other friends (including tour guys). That has been one of the most peaceful times so far because it was heart related. i didn't think this tour would be so anger filled but it is. i don't lash out at the boys, i just leave usually. i could really use a dose of Even Moffat right now! He has a way with my heart like no other. i went swimming yesterday for a long while.
i wish i had more time but the other boys need to use the computer.

Few And Far Between

2005-06-04T21:20:00.000-06:00

Tour will start in one week from now thus my letter on here and letter in your hotmail box will be few and far between. For the past week i've been in Lloyd waiting and working until tour. i live in my parents motor home and that's been real nice. It's weird, i've been wanting to get behind a puter for so long and write what i've done here so far but now that the time has come i just don't want to? i did however see the movie "Madagascar" tonight and it was pretty good. i only liked it because Chris Rock was in it. i miss riding around stoon the most out of everything. It was the best way for me to be able to adventure...... In fact, that's what i'll do right now! Later and sorry this is short and not full of info but i'll talk to you on Monday say seven-ish your time.

Halla Back Girl!

2005-05-30T23:55:00.000-06:00

If you've kept up with my posts you'll remember me telling a time of when i took the kids to a park with a lake or pond. Well that day on the radio was Gwen Steffani's song, "Halla Back Girl." It's been in the back of my siblings heads ever since. So today i was with my family (minus my step pops and Jesse) buying bikes for Matthew and Levis. While in the Mini Van i turned on the radio and that song came back on! It was great because now all the kids are singing it! Levis, Cheyenna, Matthew, and i all went out for a ride later that afternoon and Levis just started singing it, that was so funny to me, okay!
So that's the title, the rest of the day was cool. i taught Matthew how to ride a bike today, he was dreading it before and now he loves it! Tomorrow before i leave back to Lloyd for tour prep i'll be teaching Levis how to ride two wheelers. He was crying tonight because he couldn't come out for the long bike ride after supper. It was one of the best decisions to come back home for five weeks! My family rocks and there isn't any fighting between me and anyone of the members! See ya on tour everyone!

This one is for Lavonne

2005-05-28T21:01:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure if Lavonne gets to have ice cream over there but i indulged enough for her and i over here. As you can see it's massive and it took all of one sitting to finish. This colossal of chocolate has four scopes of chocolate ice cream for the base. i then broke up two squares of brownies and spread them around the bowl. There is Nestle Quick powder mix sprinkled all over the solids of chocolates to add more sweetness. For the finisher i drizzled my chocolate peanut special sauce all around the dish of heavenly goodness! It was soo good i could hardly control my self.

Dream as i dream and build it.

More Pics!

2005-05-28T20:33:00.000-06:00

This is my lil sis and i a few minutes ago. Her name is Cheyenna.

Pretty Boy

2005-05-27T19:05:00.000-06:00

Oh the pain, it's good to have a mom around to help. A wife would be nice too but i like moms.

For The Rest Of The Weekend

2005-05-25T01:24:00.000-06:00

Well, i have to get this off my chest. i just finished watching "Bridget Jones Diaries Two." That is a genuinely spectacular show! It was just me and my moms so it was like a date! Now on with the main event!
So i have Saturday and Friday to finish... Saturday was the most interesting by far due to it's ending. There was no cartoons and no SNL just to clarify that. i started work at nine and i didn't know what the heck time i was supposed to get off. i found out that some girl i work with had a crush on me while i worked there during the winter and she got all blushy! Nothing that great happened at work but after work i did go four by fouring! While i was on the trail with my friends i realized my passion for my car that is dead due to... well, i won't say what i'd like because it's not too nice. Anyway, the off wheeling rekindled the love for the ol' girl. The plans i had for that car were to build it up so i could take it rally car style driving. It's rear wheel drive with a turbo so it has some jam! If it is at all possible my day dreams will become reality. There was a rather large guy sitting in shot gun, there's nothing funny about that but something happened once we got to the trails. We started to bounce like nuts, especially him! i couldn't believe the movement his weight gave off. Anyway, we almost got stuck in a gorge but the Boy managed to brake lose. He bottomed out his ninety five jeep with a four inch suspension lift and thirty three tires numerous times getting out. That ended eventually and it was awesome to be with the Boy again (that's Joel's nineteen year old bro). He's an incredible man of christ. i really wanted to go to the beach that night but others were quite reluctant but it turned out good besides. Joel and i through a foot ball and a frisbee around at the same time to each other while three girls looked onward, Joel's girl (Steph), GIRL (i mustn't reveal her name for legal reasons), and Haily. Then Joel and i talked about tour stuff again, i'm getting more and more pumped about this adventure! Okay, i'll get to the good part now. We were all hungry so we went to Mcd's for the late night heart clogging food. i got two flurries and we sat in our cars at one in the morning in the parking lot eating, trying to figure out what to do. GIRL is fifteen and doesn't have her learners yet but she decided that she needed the practice. She jumped into the drivers of Todd's SUV and went around the lot. There was no harm in this and every one but her was in Joel's car. Todd didn't care at all. She came back and said that she couldn't parallel park good so i jumped in to give her some pointers. She pulled up to Joel's car then backed up with more then enough room. The next time she tried she started to go backwards but the transmission was in drive instead of reverse! The wheels were already turned towards the car and she hit the gas. The back end of Joel's car was messed and the side of Todd's SUV was scraped up. This is all illegal and now she has to pay for both damages out of her own pocket! i couldn't help but laugh at the situation she was in because it really sucks for her! i went to bed shortly after that! i did how ever get a small Gideons bible out of the night just like Moffat's. It was in the back of Joel's car and now it goes in my back pocket with me! i've decided to become a christian again! "Christianity sucks and if you don't know that then you're probably not doing it right!" The eternal words of a friend.
Now on to Friday, we rolled into town this day. i had to baby sit at seven in the morning but that's cool by me because i like mornings. My step pops and i talked about the government mostly. i'm not at all in to politics so this was new to me. i had nothing to say, i was asking questions the whole time. i felt like the annoying kid in grade school who does that through out the class. We covered Alberta's possible separation. i knew that there was talk but last i heard nothing was happening with it. Apparently there's seventy to eighty five percent that want to leave Canada and have our own country! We'd be one of the only debt free countries in the world and we have a lot of natural resources so it could happen. i would be the only foreigner in school! The the people at CPC can call me FES! i immediately tracked down my bike when i got to Lloyd. i then preceded to the pet store to tell Joel i got there and it turned out that his brake was then! Andrea turned up there and then we hung out for an hour till i had to work at four till close. Now remember i didn't tell any one that i was going to be in town but at the end of the night Boy showed up! He had bought the new jeep a week ago and hasn't sold his truck yet. It's a Toyota SR5 turbo jacked up with big mudders and LOTS of engine performance jazz on it. i'd love the thing but i don't have the money. So we went out to the French's to watch, of course, a movie. That's all we do in Lloyd to warn you if you plan to visit christians there. The flick of choice was "Aquatic Life With Dave Zuby" or something. i really wanted to see the show because it looked very different and eccentric. No one else liked it and they made fun of it as it went on so i shut it off and people started to go home. i was super tired anyways so it worked out. My allergies were killing me all weekend. The next time something cool happens i'll write again. Take care and i hope you all had a good weekend.

Try and read this!

2005-05-24T23:49:00.000-06:00

cdnuolt blveiee taht i cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht i was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and i awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

A Dead Man's Jacket

2005-05-24T01:11:00.000-06:00

i'm currently wearing my great grampa's jacket........ The last letter was about the state i was in before going to Lloyd for the weekend. Now i want to start this letter from the end of the weekend which is today.
When i got back from Lloyd i was so bored because i spent the weekend with friends so i had to do something entertaining thus i rented five movies and started to watch them at eight. They were all old VHS flicks. Back when i first graduated i'd rent four shows for four bones for four nights and i'd be finished before the second night was up. This became a weekly ritual for a year then i got a girlfriend. i finished all the movies today before supper, but don't get me wrong, i'm not proud of this. i just have nothing to do and no one to see. The flicks are Ted Bundy, A Midnight in a Garden of Good and Evil, Snatch, The Virgin Suicides, and Summer of Sam. The Ted one is the worst, i had to shut that one off because it was getting too sick for me. (This just in, Megan broke up with me, she just called!) Besides tv today, i didn't do much but walk around the house aimlessly. It wasn't till later on i went for a bike ride, one of the most epic rides of my life. That only might have been because i was by my self though. It started with returning the movies then i hit up a few spots along the way to this play park i was at the week before. i took my siblings there to play and i noticed that there was trails to ride. Once i got there tonight i found some side trails that go of the normal walking one so i had to go see where it lead to. It turns out that there was some little dirt jumps in the back of the park! It was just what i needed because now i can go there anytime i want. i'll want to go there more due to the new found bachelorhood (man this sucks). When i get on my skate or bike my problems don't disappear, in fact they get blown up and that's all i think about. It's to get away form people who want to talk about it. Even though the crap happened to me other people need to grieve too and say sorry and talk about it. i pulled a no footer right off the bat when i found the jumps. Those are pretty easy now but i can't work up the nerve for the no handers though. As i continued down the make shift trail i found little foot trails leading into the trees. In one of them there was a tree fort! That reminded me of when i was a kid, i used to have a fort in the bushes by our blue house and my older bro and i would always make them every year. On the way back home i saw a deer. i also found this sand pit and i'll post some pics up soon because it's incredible for bike drops! And that was today.
Yesterday was super good to me. i actually went to church so that means two in a row! Our church has separated services now. There was just too many people to hold at one service. i of course went to the early one because then i know it will end at the time they claim it will. i pitty Lavonne because she has to entertain her self for the four hour churchs she goes to. This also means i didn't have to go to Sunday school! The service was great, i loved what the pastor had to say. i ran into a bunch of people that i hadn't talked to since my dad's death so they brought that up. It made the rest of the day really hard to get through. One of them worked with my dad for a while on the riggs and so that made it even harder. i hadn't seen Carla during the weekend so we talked for a half hour about life stuff while her service was on. i met up with Joel after at one thirty at the pet store to feed pets! That was the best part of my weekend. The fish were done real quick because that was my job. Joel did not want to be there so we went to the CD store then we kicked it in the back of the store and talked abut tour stuff on the computer. i got to play with a ferret while he feed the animals in the back. So we were there for two and a half hours instead of the half hour it usually takes. i forgot about my life for a little while and it felt good. i haven't felt like that since school ended but that's for good reasons. On the way back to Wetaskiwin i talked to my mom about AA stuff and we brought up the past some more. It was good to hear more stuff about my dad and her life before i was there and after. However, i did feel like upchucking last night but that's because i didn't eat much all day except chips and a drink on the way home. i stayed up till two in the morning last night watching those movies and that was the end of my day.
Now i'm done again because i feel sad and want to not write any more. This will continue tomorrow and you'll get Saturday and Friday's events!

Go Away

2005-05-22T23:50:00.000-06:00

This one will be about the weekend i had and everything involved. The weekend is May long and i was at Lloydminster for the most part.
We left on Friday morning at nine am sharp from here in Wetaskiwin. i was with my step pops, little sister, and littlest bro in the Fountain tire truck. My moms and two other bros left the day before with my bike that just got fixed and i hadn't ridden it yet. My step pops woke me up at seven that Friday to baby sit while he went to load up some tractor tires in the truck. i had called Arby's in Lloyd on Wednesday to see if they needed a hand for the weekend for a few hours. It turned out that they wanted me to work for Friday night and Saturday night. All my buddy's worked during the day so i wouldn't get to see them if this went down. i didn't tell any one i was coming down for the weekend besides Joel because i didn't want a big scene due to the current issues in my life right now. Besides, i wanted to just relax and do what i wanted and not what every one else wanted. It was the second time i was out of the house and i wanted it to be super good!
Once i rolled into town i tracked down my bike so i could get to the infamous pet store that Joel works at and his parents own. Every Sunday the shop is closed and for the most part Joel has to feed the pets which could take from five minutes with lots of ninja speed or just over an hour if he dragged it out because no one wants to work on Sundays. As soon as i found out that he did this i started to help him, that was five years ago. i always do the fish and reptiles and the birds in the front, he does all the rodents and small birds that are in the back. It's been an event that i look forward to every Sunday. The days that he doesn't have to feed them because it's his dad's turn i get a little sad. i was pumped to do it this weekend!
The last time i was riding around in town i had my blue Kona Munimula (that's the one that Even Moffat has now if you know him) so this was an important weekend for me to go rip up the town and hit the old spots that i used to hit. My ex fiance bought the bike back in the day for my grad gift and that wasn't a cheap bike by any means. The previous owner was actually Joel! That was the bike that got me into the style that i ride today and that was the bike that got me some cool hard core riders in Lloyd that were twice my age with upwards of three thousand dollar bikes and that was the bike that i got out of the "divorce!" In a way that bike definds who i was and who i am today! It was a cross county, twenty three pound, performance bike that i beefed up a little to take the abuse that i was dishing. The same time i received my bike was the same time i started to work real paying jobs. i put just over six hundred bucks into the ol' girl that summer with out blinking an eye. With that bike i went to B.C. for my first time on a thirteen hour Greyhound bus ride! i rode my first tee-ter-taut-er on that bike as well.........
i just lost my train of thought, i'll have to finish the weekend story tomorrow.

2005-05-19T22:11:00.000-06:00

And this is me in my sisters shirt! It's very becoming don't you think!

2005-05-19T22:07:00.000-06:00

This is my little bro and sis just out side of the house! She's wearing my helmet.

2005-05-19T21:47:00.000-06:00

this is my new saint stuff!

This is the worst

2005-05-18T23:58:00.000-06:00

i'm having the worst time here but please don't pray. What a request hey. i'm crazy lonely. i have no friends still, someone said to me a couple of weeks ago "You're justin vadasz, the town will know you by tomorrow morning!" i have met some skaters and bikers but i haven't hung out with any one besides that youth group the one time. That's not why it's hard right now. You all know that i'm a romantic, i'm in love with love i've been told. This long distance relationship is pretty trying on my already broken heart due to my pop's sudden death. god knew that i was seeing someone and brought me to a place where i wouldn't have any friends and knowing that my dad was about to die! i've been thinking that maybe god is going to kill off people to get the point across that i shouldn't be dating because my last actual girlfriend's sister died suddenly and then the holy spirit really put it on my heart to brake up with her. Is the means actually worth the end? What i'm saying is constant effort during a year or two of distance worth the "possibility" of something ligit and tangible? i don't want advice, i'll get this right eventually. A wise man said to me once that "you have to choose your battles, you must ask your self, 'is this something worht fighting for.'"
What got me on all this is "You've Got Mail." i'm in the middle of it right now and i just had to right to....some...one.....umm, yeah. In the movie Meg Ryan is the most cutest woman i've ever seen, her and one other but that's a different story and i can't lose my train of thought. The way she sneaks around the house to wait for her guy to leave so she can e-mail from a complete stranger is so adorable. Both of the main characters are in relationships and both are "in love" with their partners but they're really in love with each other. i remember those days and i want them back. Oh how i want them back. My moms says that Patients is a virtue. i've been jealous since the show started. They're forty some so i guess i got some time. By then i should be in another country doing what i absolutely love, missions. Maybe she'll be a native from there or something.
The good news all week was that i get my bike back tomorrow! It's been out of commission for a month. The last guy to handle my bike was an ol' sixty year old who had inch long nails and was shaking as he fixed my bike up! He was using supposed bike terms like "this thingy" and "due hicky." Needless to say i don't trust them with my bike so my moms drove me to Edmonton to a nice shop that i love. i feel safe with my bike in their hands.
Also there was supposed to be some thunder showers tonight but none came. i love thunder storms!
i should put some pics up? That would be nice for you i'm sure.

i saw my soul and i don't like it.

2005-05-15T12:36:00.000-06:00

i have these DC shoes and they are just falling a part on me. i saw the soul of it today and that made me sad because i super love these shoes. It's been one year and a half since i bought them so they fought strong. So that explains the title now on to my life.
i wrote that soul thing on the nine-th of may. now it's the fifteen-th. Another sat has gone by where i was able to see "Strange Days At B.H.H." i've been doing a lot of yard work at my parents place here, the back looks especially good. When i was watering the lawn tonight the worms came out of the ground. They do this so they don't drown in the wet soil, it's not to soak up the water or drink it at all. When ever i'd walk by one they'd move super fast into the ground. It caught me off gaurd how fast they were because i always pictured them as slow as snails (try saying that five times fast!). With all the out side activity and work i've been losing weight and getting a tan but not really any freckles unlike some people! i feel healthier but i'm always tired. On average i wake up five times a night and that's no exaggeration. It feels good to work again though, i missed that while i was at school. The guys at work like to take brakes after working an hour and a half! While i was a at Rusway it was usually three hours that we would wait till next brake, sometimes more and sometimes less. i really miss twelve hour days but that's probably because i have no friends in this town and my bike is broken. There was one night when i did get out of the house however, it was friday. The youth group at my parents church invited me and my bros out to play lazer tag in Edmonton with them. It was a super good time, the best part was after. We went to DQ but when we arrived they were about to close. We couldn't figure out what we all wanted so instead of a bunch of individual orders we bought a thirty dollar ice cream cake for ten young guys! Of course we didn't finish it and it was frozen and all we had was plastic utensils to cut it with. The teeth of the knife broke off somewhere during the cutting. One third of it was left so we through it out, we were debating leaving it there for a homeless person but that's mean and bad. it would be bad for their teeth anyway.

Staring Contest

2005-04-30T23:27:00.000-06:00

My time in Wetaskiwin has been spent having staring contests with my families house cat. i'm not a cat lover by any stretch and to add to it i'm very allergic to them. Since i've been here my eyes have been itchy, constant sneezing, runny nose, and an itchy mouth. The mouth is the worst of all the on going agony because for me it's super hard to scratch the roof of the mouth. To let you know, cats don't really blink all that much. The contest kept going and he wouldn't give up with out a fight. That's when i started to blow into his eyes. Yes it's cheating but he didn't know that, he's a cat. It doesn't matter any way because he didn't even flinch! Those buggers are good. i won in the end only because my little bro nudged the thing. Regardless of how i won, i won, and i took pride in that.
Today was the first day of work, this Saturday morning. i haven't seen cartoons for almost two years. At school there is no cable and Saskatoon tv sucks for good toons. During the summer i work most weekends and those days start at six thirty. i love the work but i miss the shows. So needless to say i was looking forward to this morning but then i was asked to work. i did work but i got back in time to see my favorite show of all Saturdays, "Strange Days At Blakeholsy High." It was a new one too ta boot. That's all i needed to hold me over for the next two years at least. That half hour was pure bliss. i'll explain why this show is so amazing to me. It takes place at some random residential school in the states. The school is near a black hole so all these erie events happen there. Also there's the main bad guy (typical, bald, business suit, sinister looks, and an evil sounding voice) and his son goes to this school who is a good guy. Any way, there's a few students who know about this black hole and that this bald guy is in on it some how. These kids are in a science club lead by the only teacher who helps them, the science teacher (God bless them all). There's love and treachery amongst them and to top it all of there's a janitor at the end of every episode who somehow knows what's going on and gives random advice to the kids to help them figure out their current predicament.
That was my day in a nut shell.