Farewell to Arms

In the past seven bloggs on here only five have been commented on. That's fine because i'm not here for the comments or your in put. On myspace there's a thingy that tells you how many people have looked at your blog page that day, week, and thus far! And there you can give the writer kudos! i always give kudos to people. But yeah, farewell to all you bloggers, no hard feelings? Nothing against you people but it's just not worth my time to blog at both places and when it gets to putting up pictures, well, damn! If you want to read my life then check out http://blog.myspace.com/vadasz Later days kids! Thanks for the love.

Hopeless Love

Since i was a kid i've been interested in little things that don't matter to any one, little things in nature, people, or in society. My mom told me a story of what i was like when i was a child. She said it would take twice as long, if not longer, to walk to the store if she brought me because i would stop to look, observe, and love the small things along the way. Things like leaves and how they fall, the grass and how it stands, or shapes the bark of a tree makes. My memories of my childhood are few but one of the best is when I looked at a tree for a few minutes. All i could do was look and imagine things about the tree. It was one of those tall skinny white trees with some black stripes. You know, it has thin branches and on the end of those are longer branches. These branches are like small ropes, like twine. Well anyway. That was me, is me.

What am i getting at? i don't know, pift, my attention to detail i guess. Now here is my main thought.

All i can remember that means something to me of my past relationships are these details that i noticed about them. And since i was a teenager i was a hopeless romantic. i had my wedding planed out, even to the point that i know what i want the dress to look like! For a guy that is different. i knew where it was going to be, i knew who i was going to invite, and who was doing what. i knew the food, music, and prices at one point? i remember watching an old couple coming into Arby's and the husband took care of the order. She stood in the back and waited patiently while he took care of the business. i'm sure that it's one of the few things that he could've taken care of for her now. He was glad to do it because she is his life! You could feel that love they had, even if you didn't know them and i love stuff like this. i love romance movies, songs, and stories. My lord the stories!! My first week at CPC i sat down with Wally and his wife so i could hear how they fell in love! i eat that stuff up, i lived for it! But some how that all changed recently.

It's like it all left with this one girl. All my hopes in "true love" or happiness with one soul for the rest of one's life went away. i'm not mad at her or my self. What i did find out is that when i was, i don't know, i want to say naive; i thought there was many opportunities at a great relationship/forever relationship. Ones where there is unconditional love and you are head over heels for each other. Hell, i want that just as much as the next guy but it's highly improbable that it's going to happen. Now i realize that there are few real connections with people (in general) and even less of a chance of being with someone who really gets you.

My thoughts used to be more logical in relationships. Compatibility was the most important thing. i'd line up what my interests/passions are with hers to see if it would work. A couple of times i would hang in there just because they are a catch and i was hoping my heart would follow. Catch: they were smart, beautiful, good sense of humor, my family liked them, and we complimented each other. Complimented each other in the sense that they would be good with money and i'm not or they would be good at planning and i'm better at executing that plan. Those are the kinds of things i was looking for and held on to. Now i realize that it's all about the connection. It has more to do with understanding the person, not tolerating them but truly accepting them.

If i liked them or not or i was dating them or not i usually knew it wasn't going to work deep down. There were a couple girls that were real catches and i cared about too much to the point that i'd lie to myself just so i wouldn't have to hurt them or my self. i'd convince myself till i was blue in the face that i was wrong and continue with full steam in my heart. Of course there's nothing but disaster with these scenarios. Now i'm skeptical of friends' relationships and i have little to no hope for them not because they're thinking like I was but because it rarely does work out. And even when it does it seems more likely that it'll be for the wrong reasons; obligation being one of the big ones! i feel like i missed my "one chance" at true love because I was fixed on whether or not we fit together. i've been in many relationships and i was only once myself, i was confident in who i was and i loved them. And i should have realized that but i was too focused on the mathematics of the relationship. i should've loved them regardless of our compatibility.

So there are two changes here. 1- i won't settle for a female just because she has all or even some of the right things that i look for. That's the main reason why i dated so much. It's gotta be the real deal now. 2- i lost it, whoops!
To Pexa: Be easy on me, i'm sure you want to tear this apart!

Later days,

Currently listening: On the Strength of All Convinced By Daphne Loves Derby Release date: By 26 July, 2005

Another Night. Another.

Another night, another show!!!!! Last night i saw Moneen at Louis' Pub and of course they were nuts. They have such a great stage show! Last time i saw them was last year with two great friends of mine Joel and Erin. Neither were here this time but i was with my brother's ex girlfriend! She was my Valentine's date as well. She's the best chick to go to a show with. There's just too much fun to be had. Half way through "The Passing of America" Moneen plays a game of poker? It was hularious!

Next up- MXPX next week!

Here's a little something from the boys of Moneen for all the heart aches and broken dreams!

"Start Angry, end mad"
Scew you and i, i hope you burn.
You think you're worth more then you've earned.
You're nothing, you're worthless excpt for these verses.
Out with the new, in with the old.
Die
Die
Die
Die
Die....

Yeah, you get the point! Later days

Currently listening: Are We Really Happy With Who We Are Right Now? By Moneen Release date: By 17 June, 2003

Yes, i see that hand!

Your results:You are The Flash

The Flash 85%
Superman 65%
Spider-Man 65%
Robin 65%
Green Lantern 65%
Supergirl 60%
Wonder Woman 60%
Iron Man 60%
Hulk 40%
Batman 35%
Catwoman 35%


(There's a graphic of Flash on my myspace but not here?) Fast, athletic and flirtatious. There's more woman in me then i thought!???? http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/superhero

Dreams and Pens

Just a few minutes ago i had a dream. In it i was playing volleyball (i don't really like that) and with me was some friends who i don't know. The main part of the dream was that Muana was in it! And she was my girlfriend!!! Muana is the runner up girl from the “Bachelor” and that show ended last night (whimper, whimper). Travis picked some other girl named Sarah who apparently is the girl of his dreams? Well, Muana is the girl of mine, literally and she just seemed so frick'n awesome. We were talking and laughing and we held hands! Wow i need to get out more, the high light of my days are my dreams!

In other news, i was away this weekend with my boys from Farsighted. They played at Youth Quake, opening up for John Ruben!!!!! They made a killing at the merch table from all the young girlies and boys! The college there paid for the two rooms at the hotel for us, which was nice because it came with two baskets of junk food and free breakfast!!! There were blue angles, wedgies, flips, farts, pelting, and a lot of Discovery Channel!!! i was blowing the blue angles but it didn't work that well. Brett Murphy gave me a wedgie but i got him back and also a frontal wedgie to boot! i was flipping from bed to bed. The other boys were pelting each other with candies and Mark got a huge one in the side!!!! He dropped super fast. What else .... Oh, i got to drive there and back!! It felt like tour all over again, man i miss last summer.

It was a great weekend filled with new and old faces too. i ran into my old buddy from Jr. high school Tyler Rohde! We used to play lots of video games and chase girls together! i also ran into a couple of girls who i met on tour this summer. At first i couldn't put my finger on where i knew them from so they had to tell me.

On the way home Joel and i found cannibalistic donuts? i know, weird but true! At the beginning Joel said to me it's the “find a wife weekend!” One of the summer's tour names was "find justin a wife tour." So there was no luck what so ever just so you know. And that's all for now.

Later days

You Might Know

i love the show Radio Free Rosco on Family Channel. As it turns out two of the guys are gonna be here in S'toon in a couple of weeks!!!!!! There is no way I can miss that. Sure I'm a few years older then them but I'm not on T.V. and I'm not as cool, I may even be considered a nerd and that IS OKAY!!! So be there or be not square! March fourth, 11:00 a.m. till 1:00 p.m. at Lawson heights mall. "L-Seven Weenie!!!"


later days!
Currently Playing: XB360 Call of Duty 2Release date: By 22 November, 2005

Tour Stories Part Joel

Stuff in brackets are me explaining the story! Thanks for reading



Hey dude. Well, here are some off the top of my head for now:

1) turning the abandoned mall's parking lot into an RV park in Quebec City. (yeah, i got nothing)

2) definitely the geyser at the park in Moose Jaw ( i stayed behind but the guys ran over a sprinkler and there was a fourty foot water geyser! Todd sat on it and was given an enima

3) the show in 100 Mile House filled with sex and violence (it was just like TV. There was a couple haveing sex in the bathroom. And a drunk guy was chasing around a dude who had a mic stand swinging. That place was crazy)

4) the worst show ever in Victoria when we played across the street from a stadium full of Avril Lavigne fans (yeah, it sucked)

5) the stagette party on a school bus in Winnipeg (Hola! So i mooned the bus full of girls but then the wife to be mooned us back! That was pretty funny but wrong)

6) all-you-can-eat breakfast with The Reception in Revelstoke

7) watching Dumb And Dumber in an old Ford Ranger (that happened to be unlocked and had a charged battery) in Whistler (Yeah, that was awesome. We checked a lot of wrecked vehicles for power because our truck was dead all just to watch Dumb and Dumber!)

8) seeing national mountain biking events at both ends of the country completely by coincidence

9) milk in a bag (only in Quebec!)

10) almost going into the gay bar in Ottawa (Once i saw the poster of a naked guy we were out of there. Icky)

Well, there's a list to get you started. I'll try to think of more. Later!

Joel